Oh, hello! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Homestar Sister, and I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. I know a lot of people have done e-mail answering thingies of their own, but like everybody else, I think I can do e-mails just as well as the next guy. Or in my case, the next girl. So, let's start things off with what I can assure you is not an e-mail entirely composed by me just to encourage you to write to me. This is a real e-mail. Really. Okay, let's begin:
a>run hssis_email.exe
a>Dear Homestar Sister,
How can you be Homestar Runner's sister? Homestar Runner does not have a sister. You must be some kind of an imposter.
- jackluigi619
Hmm. A direct attack on yours truly, eh? Well, this certainly isn't good for my reputation, what this being my first e-mail and all. I'll have to handle this delicately. Let's see...
a>Jack, you obviously don't know jack about Homestar Runner's family, and let me tell you, it's really freakin' big. Look at different Homestar Runner forums, and take a peek at the pictures fans have dug up of Homestar Runner's many relatives. Here, let me show you an example:
Check out this here picture compilation by Hoosteen (a.k.a. Hoostinks?!) from the HomestarRules.com forum.
a>See that? Look at all of those no-armed whiteys and off-whiteys! There must be a billion of them! I can only imagine how Strong Bad would react to seeing so many Homestars. Maybe my brother should organize a family reunion. We'll be sure to invite you, Jack. Then you can meet me, Homestar Sister. Let me show you what I look like so you don't miss me:
a>If that isn't enough proof that I'm Homestar's sister, I don't know what is. Except maybe a DNA test. But the last thing I want is some freaky scientist stumbling on this website and stealing my genetic coding information to create Homestar Sister clones. As you've probably noticed, there are enough Homestars in this world as it is. Oh, and in case you're wondering why I have no hair, let me put it to you this way: NEVER, under any circumstances, drink a cold one past its expiration date, no matter how tempting it looked in the back of the fridge.
So, until next time, send me your questions at celestial_sister@hellokitty.com. Depending on how many good questions I get, I may answer more than one at a time. But I most likely won't answer more than three at a time. Y'know, cuz three is the magical number? Like, when you find a genie, you make three wishes... and when Little Bunny Foo-Foo got three chances from the Good Fairie... you get the idea.
IT'S OVER!!!
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